Have you ever noticed how we are our own worst critics? We look in the mirror and calculate a mental list of perceived negatives. Today it is my joy to welcome to the Redeemed Girl blog our dear friend and talented writer, Lynn Cowell. Lynn addresses the insecurities we all feel and offers the source of true confidence. I hope you’ll take her words to heart and allow truth to set you free from the voice of condemnation. –Marian

I chose her register not because her line was short, but because of her smile. Her beautiful skin and sparkling, dark-colored eyes only added to the light she was shining.

As I scooted my cart to her check-out lane, the cashier said something sweet about my outfit. Soon, we were swapping sweatpants stories – the outfits we are both most comfortable in; she in school and me working from home. Within seconds, our conversation took a turn, landing on the topic of confidence.

Suddenly, her bright eyes lost their twinkle and in a bit of a whisper she confided she wished she had been more confident a few years ago. Before the opportunity slipped away I asked, “Did you go through a hard time when you were younger?”

This gorgeous young woman shared how she grew up in an area where there hadn’t been many people who looked like she did. She was told if only her skin were different, she would be pretty. But … since it wasn’t … Then she hesitated and added, “But I got over it.” She handed me my bags, my receipt and our interaction ended.

Heading out to my car, I wished I was instead going to the coffee shop next door to chat with her. I had so many questions. What happened in her heart during this confidence-crushing time? Did she really just get over it?

Because here is the thing: it will happen again. Each one of us will experience times over and over again when our confidence is challenged.

I am not exaggerating when I tell you it is nearly a daily occurrence that my confidence is challenged. Unlike the cashier, my confidence isn’t challenged based on a situation where I have been put down or slighted. No, my struggle comes from within. My heart and mind messages continually working against me. “If only” you had more experience.  “If only” you were more gifted, more talented and many others.

“If only …” These words, whether they come from others or from ourselves grow only louder whenever we attempt to make our move with God.

Is there a part of you that says me too? Each time you have attempted to step out in a direction you feel God calling you to, your confidence was challenged. You have your own set of “if only’s” …

If only I didn’t make that unwise choice as a teen …

If only I had gone to college …

If only I was married …

If only I didn’t marry so young …

If only my marriage would have worked …

If only I had gotten my temper under control …

If only I had sought treatment …


If only, if only, if only …

And somewhere, in all this break down, we began to believe we simply didn’t deserve to have our God-instilled desires and dreams fulfilled.

So, what do we do now?

We still move forward in Christ Confidence because we know God cares for us.

He sees us.

I know there are days, when you are going through the motions. Dragging yourself out of bed and into the perpetual rush of your life. Your weary self wonders: “Do I even matter? Does anyone see me?”

Jesus absolutely does care for you and His care can give your confidence the strength you need to press forward. We have to teach and tell our hearts that truth: He cares for us.

Yes, life delivers harsh, pain-filled blows, but we can change those “if-onlys” around.

If only my parents had stayed together, I wouldn’t have experienced that hurt, but now I get to share my testimony with children who are going through the same pain. If only we didn’t move, I wouldn’t have felt so insecure, but now I get to meet people God specifically put me with in this new city to share about Him.

If only, if only, if only … But God!

Friend, the King of the Universe sees you and calls you worthy. Matthew 10:29-31 reminds us, “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” (NIV)

You have what you need to change up your “if onlys” and to make the move God calls you to make. Let His word, this very verse, fill your confidence gap today.

This week, when you sense your confidence being challenged, concentrate on your breathing. With each breath, speak over your heart one-way God has been faithful to you. As you breath in His care, breath in Christ confidence. Unshakable confidence in our unshakable God!

Lord, I want to move forward. May Your truth, that You are behind, before and with me empower me to do so. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.



Lynn Cowell is a Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and the author of the new Bible study, Make Your Move: Finding Unshakeable Confidence Despite Your Fears and Failures is ready for pre-order! Click here to get your copy and unlock exclusive bonuses!

© 2017 by Lynn Cowell. All rights reserved.

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