It all started quite suddenly. One day I felt like an 18-wheeler smacked me, leaving me completely depleted of energy and strength. For real, I’ve never felt so exhausted in my entire life. I didn’t know what was happening as I crawled to bed every night at 7pm, because I couldn’t hold my eyes open. So, like any girl with Google power, I commenced to diagnose myself with all kinds of ailments: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the Flu, and Adrenal Fatigue.
No, I’m not a medical doctor, but I can WEB MD like a champ. I felt so tired that I just knew something DRASTIC must be wrong with me.
It wasn’t until I was in New York City for a few speaking events and woke up at 2 AM with insomnia, that I started to do the math and count the weeks since … well … you know.
Could I be?
Is it possible?
At my age?
By 5 AM, when it was time to pack up and head to the airport, I finally clued into the possibility that I just might be pregnant.
By the time I flew from NYC to another women’s event in Missouri, I knew it was time to take a pregnancy test. Thank the Lord above that my sweet friend Jourdan was with me. As a mother of two and a woman who is also in full-time ministry, she was the perfect person to hold my hand as I watched the two little lines appear on the stick.
(Here we are the day I found out at a women’s conference.)
Then the shock set in … the next two minutes went something like this:
What in the world?
I can’t breathe.
I never thought I’d have a baby. Then with one little trip to CVS, my whole life turned upside down. I called my precious husband and said, “Babe, are you sitting down? … I’m pregnant!”
He couldn’t have handled the news (or me) better. He was pure joy and praises.
I, on the other hand, needed someone to remind me to breathe.
Friends, I’m delighted to announce…I’m becoming a mother! We are now 13 weeks pregnant and due early November. The shock has settled in, and we are giddy with how the Lord has blessed us with this baby. My favorite moment was telling my “bonus boys,” Andrew and Brenden that they will be big brothers. The sheer delight on their faces and squeals of joy was a gift from the Lord.
Hello! Ellis party of five!
My thoughts on Becoming a Mother are pretty simple—this is a miracle. Only the Lord God Almighty can create life and open the womb. This child was created, predestined, and knit together by Him. King David’s thoughts sum up this miracle perfectly:
For you created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
As I read books and watch videos about our baby’s development, I marvel at the handiwork of God and stand amazed that anyone (especially a mother) could deny His existence. Week by week our precious little one grows, from the size of a poppyseed at four weeks to the little ripe avocado that I’m currently carrying. All the while my body shifts, changes, and prioritizes protecting my infant above all else. This process naturally occurs in my womb, without my help, because my body was designed by a Creative Life-Giving God to carry life.
Wow, just wow!
I can’t imagine the amount of faith required for an atheist to believe that all of these miraculous changes just happen by random chance. No thanks, I’ll stick with the Biblical account:
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
Everyone keeps asking if we want a boy or a girl. I am completely honest when I say we are happy either way. I never expected to become pregnant, so the fact that this miracle of life is growing inside me is beyond my comprehension. God has blessed us “over and above all we could have asked or imagined.” I trust the Lord to give us HIs best.
For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities–all things have been created through Him and for Him.